{This is life} What to do in your dead time

Successful people seems to have this whole time management thing down pat. Seriously, you don’t hear people like Oprah or Richard Branson twiddling their thumbs between meetings and making paper aeroplanes do you?

Well, I reckon, in my highly unqualified yet enthusiastic opinion that these people know how to utilise time in their day for better purposes. You know when you do your things during the day, brush your teeth, drop the kids at school, have a shower and then the little bits of time between doing those daily tasks is a thing I call ‘dead time’.

Dead time is often only a few minutes but it is time that can easily be absorbed by doing nothing, or you know twiddling thumbs and making paper aeroplanes. It took me a while to realise (because I am el-averageo at maths) that just five minutes a day of dead time adds up to 35 minutes a week or nearly two and half hours a month. If you really want to get drastic it is 30 hours a year! So there is 30 hours of your year that is just dead time.

It is unlikely you are relaxing because any good chilling takes more than five minutes to achieve. You’re not likely to be doing anything particularly effective, nor are you likely to be motivated. So, that my friends is where dead time comes in.

You can choose to utilise your dead time in a magnitude of ways. I have recently found that doing a little bit of mental health rehab during my dead time has assisted me greatly.

LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE

I have discovered a love of TED Talks. The talks are brilliant and I literally dare you to not be interested in at least one of the talks. TED talks are based on the philosophy of ‘Ideas Worth Spreading’. These talks range from motivational to emotional, moving to inspirational. The cover form and function, emotion and technology. They are a brilliant way to learn a lot about something in a very short amount of time.

If you like listening then I am sure you could find a podcast that is to your liking. Podcasts are literally everywhere and are the easiest way to find out about anything you have ever wondered about. The topics and content associated with podcasts are varied and often unexpected but informative and entertaining. You can listen to commercial radio or investigations into crime. You can learn about cosmic energy or learn about each song the Spice Girls ever made. They are great to listen to while driving or even vacuuming. Keep you brain active and you will be rewarded – well at least your trivia game will be next level strong.

LIST IT

If you take a couple of minutes of dead time and prepare a couple of lists of things that need to be done you will shortly realise how much of a big difference that can make to you. Just a simple list of house chores or a grocery list can help assist your mind to be clear. I find the simplest list of all is preparing a meal plan breakdown for our family. If I do this I save myself from the ridiculous anxiety of having to think what to feed the family every night, it doesn’t seem like much but it really makes a difference.

list

MEDITATE LIKE A BOSS

Meditation is the simplest way to achieve clarity and possible the best way to utilise five minutes of dead time. There are a bunch of apps that can help get you in your happy place and recharge you quicker than you can say ‘I need 8 hours sleep’. Check out the ‘buddhify’ ‘Calm’ or ‘Headspace’ Apps to get you started.

TAKE ME TO BED

Make your bed. This job literally takes three minutes at the ABSOLUTE maximum and makes you feel good all bloody day.

bed

CLUTTER IN THE GUTTER

Choose a place in your house and chuck the crap. I find the handbag is the el-grando cluttering spot in my house – that or the dining table so I often spend no more than two minutes literally chucking out the receipts and bits of paper that clutter your house and build up without you really knowing. You generally don’t need more than a couple of minutes to really make a big difference.

CUP OF LIFE

Make a cup of tea and just sit. Don’t let it get cold on the bench. Don’t talk a phone call. Just make a full cup of tea and drink it in one sitting. Often as a parent you don’t prioritise the power of a cuppa but those Brits are on to something I am sure of it. In my house we have recently implemented the following motto “first we drink the tea then we do the things”.

tea

LANGUAGE UP

Did you ever think you could learn a language in just a few minutes everyday? Download an app and then just learn a word or two a day. You might not be speaking fluent Japanese within a week but you will eventually get there. Eventually you can improve your skill by reading a newspaper online in the language that you are learning. Just a few minutes can make your tongue more talented.

JOURNAL

Get a journal and write in it. Sounds simple enough doesn’t it? Well, all the cool kids are doing it because once you write something it sticks with you. Did you know schools like Harvard actually refuse to let their students take notes on computers – rather telling them to bring a notepad and pen. Write down your feelings, write down your day, heck just write what you are grateful for. A good mind makes for good health.

journal

BE MINDFUL

The moment you recognise how much difference can be made by just doing little things in your dead time the more successful you will be. Being mindful is not something you will learn overnight but I promise once you realise how much more valuable your time can be you will realise its importance and just how quickly it can add up.

 

*IMAGES: Pinterest*

{The Legal Nest} What am I worth?

Today our Legal advice contributor James Horsburgh, Solicitor and Director from McIntosh McPhillamy & Co in Bathurst talks all things Family Law Property Settlement.

James has over 10 years experience and practices primarily in the areas of Family law, Criminal law and litigation. He is a Law Society Accredited Specialist in Family Law, essentially making him an expert in that field.

James is married and has two children. He is extensively involved in the local community and loves fighting the good fight.
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PROPERTY SETTLEMENT – WHAT IS A CONTRIBUTION?

Have you ever wondered how the Courts determine what your contributions are worth when deciding on a property settlement? Well, the Courts take many things into consideration. money tree

Contributions are assessed during three (3) stages of the relationship, these are:

  1. Contributions prior to the commencement of the relationship.
  2. Contributions made during the relationship.
  3. Contributions made after separation.

A question I am often asked is, does the court just look at financial contributions? The answer is no. Ultimately the court looks at three (3) types of contributions, these are:

  1. Financial Contributions
    • E.g a party’s earnings, or money or other assets brought into the relationship.
  2. Non-financial contributions
    • Contributions made directly or indirectly, by or on behalf of a party, to the acquisition, conservation or improvement of any of the property that the parties have.
  3. Contributions to the welfare of the family
    • Contributions made by either party in their capacity as homemaker or parent.

The significance or the weight which is afforded to any particular contribution is a matter for the court. However, in reaching an outcome which is fair and reasonable, it is not sufficient to say that “I have paid for everything, he/she should get nothing!”.

If you want more information about the contributions that you have made to your relationship, please do not hesitate to contact James at McIntosh McPhillamy & Co on 6331 1533 or email him directly at jhorsburgh@mcmc.com.au

James blog

{The Nest Celebrations} Naming Day

Traditional christenings are becoming less and less popular and there has been a surge of Naming Days that are taking their place. namin6

Naming days are usually non-religious but are a fantastic way to celebrate your new little person with your nearest and dearest.

Today, we speak with Amanda who chose to give her son Reid a Naming Day!

TCN: So, why a naming day and not a traditional Christening or Baptism?

My husband and I aren’t particularly religious but we still wanted Reid to have his own special ceremony and a day all about him so we chose to have a Naming Day instead!naming

TCN: How old is Reid?

Reid is One! We combined his first birthday party and naming day ceremony so we could have one big day to celebrate our little man.

TCN: Did you have a Naming Day for your other child as well?

Yes, Jayce our 2.5 year old also had a Naming Day on his first birthday as well. naming3

TCN: Did you use a Celebrant or just do it yourself?

We decided to go with a Celebrant. She was the same lady who completed Jayce’s Naming Day as well as our wedding! So it has been lovely that she has been a part of our lives in so many ways over the years!

TCN: Are their any local suppliers who made your Naming Day just that little bit more special?

Yes!

We have a beautiful cake from Cakes By Katrina

Some delicious food provided by Smoking Brothers Catering

Our gorgeous balloons were from Balloons and Baskets

My lovely dress was from Little Party Dress

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{The Embrace Screening} Kellie’s reflection

Recently The Central Nest and Kellie Gibson arranged a screening of the highly informative film ‘Embrace’ in Bathurst. It was an event that was filled with inspiration, motivation and the joy of spending the night with 150 of our closest friends.

Kellie has prepared a reflection of the event and wanted to share it with you. watercolour

After spending a wonderful evening at the Bathurst Embrace screening last week with 150 other local women and “one token dude” I left feeling really empowered and loved the amazing message that the film sent. You know it’s a powerful and hardhitting message when you are left thinking about it for days afterwards, there were so many parts that really stuck with me.

But… I am going to be completely honest here.

When Wednesday rolled around and the cover for Bathurst City Life was released, I took one look at the cover shot, which was a photo of myself and the other ladies who contributed to the event and my initial thoughts were “what a terrible photo of me… I look horrible”, “I didn’t realise I was that big” “look at the bags under my eyes” “how embarrassing” “everyone else looks great but I look terrible”.

Then a massive part of me felt guilty that I was left feeling like that particularly when the event was all about embracing who we are and how we look and promoting positive body image for all. I felt like a fraud that I had been so passionate about this issue that I had brought the Embrace screening to Bathurst and now I was body shaming myself!

I caught up for a cuppa this morning with a friend who was also on the cover and she told me her thoughts upon seeing it and I was shocked to hear that her reaction was pretty much the same, she was so critical of how she looked but thought that the rest of us all looked gorgeous! After a good laugh it led to a chat about why we are so hard on ourselves, how can we be exposed to such a positive message which makes us walk away feeling so great and then have such a negative reaction to the first photo we see of ourselves? How can we change these powerful thoughts and feelings that have been wired into us for so many years? How can we change the culture?

Upon chatting further I told my friend that I can personally remember being told so often in the past that I was pretty or that I was beautiful, that I had a great body, that I looked really fit etc. Looking back, I honestly feel that being told these things so often has devalued in my own mind other important qualities and attributes that I have to offer as a person and when through my own perception (no one else’s) I feel like I don’t have those things then I feel like I am not enough. Don’t get me wrong, who doesn’t love a compliment? We all do! A genuine compliment can really brighten our day. The issue is that all too often compliments are based on aesthetics as opposed to a variety of beautiful qualities that make us truly unique as individuals, all of those things that our family and friends truly love about us! It can be so hard when what is portrayed as normal in magazines and other media is worlds apart from reality.

At the end of our cuppa we decided that the only way we can change this culture and way of thinking is to have more conversations about it! We need to talk about it as a way to constantly remind ourselves that we are so much more than how we look and that our qualities extend far greater than what meets the eye.

As women we need to work towards building ourselves and each other up and getting to know those qualities that make each of us so unique and so special, each and every one of us has so much to offer! It’s going to be a work in progress to change these thought patterns we have developed over time… but collectively lets all continue to try!

On that note I would like to share one particular quote from the film that I absolutely loved and will always remember “It’s a waste of energy that people spend all of that time worrying about how they look as opposed to what they can contribute” – Turia Pitt. Well said Turia, well said!

HAPPINESS is a habit

{The Legal Nest} Equal time versus Joint Parental Responsibility

We are thrilled to welcome on board as one of our contributors James Horsburgh, Solicitor and Director from McIntosh McPhillamy & Co in Bathurst.

James has over 10 years experience and practices primarily in the areas of Family law, Criminal law and litigation. He is a Law Society Accredited Specialist in Family Law, essentially making him an expert in that field.

James is married and has two children. He is extensively involved in the local community and loves fighting the good fight.
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CHILDREN’S ISSUES IN FAMILY LAW 

EQUAL TIME VERSUS JOINT PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY

Today James clarifies the widely misunderstood difference between children spending equal time with both parents, versus that of the concept of both parents having equal shared parental responsibility.  Image result for childrens issues family law free image

Parental Responsibility

Parental responsibility does not concern the amount of time that the children shall spend with either parent but in fact refers to the parenting role that each respective parent shall play in a child’s life. Under the Family Law Act 1975 parental responsibility refers to ultimately four (4) main areas concerning the child’s upbringing, those being:

  1. The child’s education
  2. The child’s religious and cultural upbringing
  3. The child’s health
  4. Any other long-term issue about the care and welfare and development of the child.

As you can see parental responsibility refers to the parenting of the child as opposed to any time that either parent shall spend with the child after separation.

If the Court makes an order for equal shared parental responsibility then this places an obligation on both parents to consider and discuss with the other parent any decisions which are made regarding the upbringing of the child after separation.

Equal Time

In the alternative, equal time refers to the amount of time that either parent spends with a child. Any order which may be made regarding parental responsibility will not affect the amount of time that either party spends with a child, by the same token if a Court chooses not to make an order for equal time then this does not mean that both parents cannot have equal shared parental responsibility.

These decisions regarding time and parental responsibility are made on a case-by-case basis having regard to what is in the best interests of the children at the time.

James blog

To find out more about children’s issues and the law, please do not hesitate to contact James at Mcintosh McPhillamy & Co on 6331 1533 or email him directly at jhorsburgh@mcmc.com.au

{The Nest Resolutions} The things that make me better

Having three little people under  7 and another on the way means life can be super busy for me and easily becomes overwhelming. So, in an effort to stay on pointe this year I have made several resolutions that I refuse to break.book

LIST LIFE

I make lists. Like loads and loads of lists.

Lists on jobs to do around the house. Lists of items to write about on the blog for you lovely people. Lists reminding me when the girls have swimming lessons and doctor’s appointments, school events and sports day at school. Lists to remind me about all the little things that it takes to keep our little nest turning over day after day.

I write lists not only to remember to do things but to feel good when I tick off the box next to it acknowledging that’s another job done. I find it really helps when I am feeling overwhelmed or like even though I am doing a bazillion things nothing is really getting done.

MEAL PLANNING

I cannot even tell you how much difference this will make to your life if you haven’t already tried this. Not only is that horrid decision of what to eat today already made for you, it means you save a whole tonne of casholi as well. No longer do you walk around aimlessly at the supermarket buying bits and pieces of meals to realise when you get home you have missed a crucial ingredient.

I write mine up on the menu board (from KMART)  on the pantry each week so everyone in the house knows what we are having that day.

You will also notice a massive reduction in wastage (especially fruit and veg)

MAKE THE BED

This is an easy one. I make my bed every morning so that each time I enter my room throughout that day it feels clean and organised. A messy space leads to a messy mind. I dare you try it for one week and see if your mood improves.

DON’T SWEAT IT

I resolve to not sweat all this little stuff. I have always been quite organised and strive for near perfection in everything I do, but following the birth of my third child, Coco I was diagnosed with post-natal depression and the world around me collapsed. I was so focused on making sure everything was perfect that I ended up doing 100 jobs but none of them well. As much as it is hard to remind myself some days, not everything can be perfect all of the time.  When I am feeling overwhelmed I take a step back and pick out what really matters.

DISH LIFE

I clean the dinner dishes EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. If you wake up to a clean kitchen to make a pot of coffee in the morning it makes everything smoother. This really makes a crucial difference to me but it took a long time to get in the habit of not just sitting on the lounge absorbed into primetime television after dinner. If you form the habit then you reap the rewards. Trust me!

So nesters, what makes your days easily?

{Read Up} Reading Challenge 2017

As much as I love reading I never seem to find enough time. It is always something that gets pushed to the background of my busy day and every so often pops its little head out right as I climb into bed and I manage to indulge in a few pages of one of the four books on my bedside table.

I truly believe there are two types of people in the world, those who only read one book at a time and those who have several on the go at one time. I am solidly the second type.

So, as a challenge to myself (and now you!) I have put together a reading challenge for 2017.

Here you go:

Reading challenge 2017

Here’s to finding time to explore the written word in 2017.

Let me know how you go! Did I miss anything that should be added next time?