{This is life} What to do in your dead time

Successful people seems to have this whole time management thing down pat. Seriously, you don’t hear people like Oprah or Richard Branson twiddling their thumbs between meetings and making paper aeroplanes do you?

Well, I reckon, in my highly unqualified yet enthusiastic opinion that these people know how to utilise time in their day for better purposes. You know when you do your things during the day, brush your teeth, drop the kids at school, have a shower and then the little bits of time between doing those daily tasks is a thing I call ‘dead time’.

Dead time is often only a few minutes but it is time that can easily be absorbed by doing nothing, or you know twiddling thumbs and making paper aeroplanes. It took me a while to realise (because I am el-averageo at maths) that just five minutes a day of dead time adds up to 35 minutes a week or nearly two and half hours a month. If you really want to get drastic it is 30 hours a year! So there is 30 hours of your year that is just dead time.

It is unlikely you are relaxing because any good chilling takes more than five minutes to achieve. You’re not likely to be doing anything particularly effective, nor are you likely to be motivated. So, that my friends is where dead time comes in.

You can choose to utilise your dead time in a magnitude of ways. I have recently found that doing a little bit of mental health rehab during my dead time has assisted me greatly.

LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE

I have discovered a love of TED Talks. The talks are brilliant and I literally dare you to not be interested in at least one of the talks. TED talks are based on the philosophy of ‘Ideas Worth Spreading’. These talks range from motivational to emotional, moving to inspirational. The cover form and function, emotion and technology. They are a brilliant way to learn a lot about something in a very short amount of time.

If you like listening then I am sure you could find a podcast that is to your liking. Podcasts are literally everywhere and are the easiest way to find out about anything you have ever wondered about. The topics and content associated with podcasts are varied and often unexpected but informative and entertaining. You can listen to commercial radio or investigations into crime. You can learn about cosmic energy or learn about each song the Spice Girls ever made. They are great to listen to while driving or even vacuuming. Keep you brain active and you will be rewarded – well at least your trivia game will be next level strong.

LIST IT

If you take a couple of minutes of dead time and prepare a couple of lists of things that need to be done you will shortly realise how much of a big difference that can make to you. Just a simple list of house chores or a grocery list can help assist your mind to be clear. I find the simplest list of all is preparing a meal plan breakdown for our family. If I do this I save myself from the ridiculous anxiety of having to think what to feed the family every night, it doesn’t seem like much but it really makes a difference.

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MEDITATE LIKE A BOSS

Meditation is the simplest way to achieve clarity and possible the best way to utilise five minutes of dead time. There are a bunch of apps that can help get you in your happy place and recharge you quicker than you can say ‘I need 8 hours sleep’. Check out the ‘buddhify’ ‘Calm’ or ‘Headspace’ Apps to get you started.

TAKE ME TO BED

Make your bed. This job literally takes three minutes at the ABSOLUTE maximum and makes you feel good all bloody day.

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CLUTTER IN THE GUTTER

Choose a place in your house and chuck the crap. I find the handbag is the el-grando cluttering spot in my house – that or the dining table so I often spend no more than two minutes literally chucking out the receipts and bits of paper that clutter your house and build up without you really knowing. You generally don’t need more than a couple of minutes to really make a big difference.

CUP OF LIFE

Make a cup of tea and just sit. Don’t let it get cold on the bench. Don’t talk a phone call. Just make a full cup of tea and drink it in one sitting. Often as a parent you don’t prioritise the power of a cuppa but those Brits are on to something I am sure of it. In my house we have recently implemented the following motto “first we drink the tea then we do the things”.

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LANGUAGE UP

Did you ever think you could learn a language in just a few minutes everyday? Download an app and then just learn a word or two a day. You might not be speaking fluent Japanese within a week but you will eventually get there. Eventually you can improve your skill by reading a newspaper online in the language that you are learning. Just a few minutes can make your tongue more talented.

JOURNAL

Get a journal and write in it. Sounds simple enough doesn’t it? Well, all the cool kids are doing it because once you write something it sticks with you. Did you know schools like Harvard actually refuse to let their students take notes on computers – rather telling them to bring a notepad and pen. Write down your feelings, write down your day, heck just write what you are grateful for. A good mind makes for good health.

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BE MINDFUL

The moment you recognise how much difference can be made by just doing little things in your dead time the more successful you will be. Being mindful is not something you will learn overnight but I promise once you realise how much more valuable your time can be you will realise its importance and just how quickly it can add up.

 

*IMAGES: Pinterest*

{The Nest Reviews} Why you should watch 13 Reasons Why

NOTE: I have exactly zero qualifications when it comes to having the right to comment on what you should be or not be watching. The following is simply my experience as a mother, wife and friend. If you are experiencing a difficult time in your life then I implore you to should seek help through your doctor or give Lifeline a call on 13 11 14.

Last night I finished watching the Netflix Original television series 13 Reasons Why and I say without hesitation that I recommend that you watch it too. The show is intense. It is heartbreaking and powerful. It is tragic and overflowing with grief. I know its not really a good way to sell it, but 13 Reasons Why is not a show filled with optimism or the hope of tomorrow but rather a sense of urgency to look at those around you. 13-reasons-why-2

ABOUT

13 Reasons Why is based around the suicide of 17 year old school student Hannah Baker. Before she takes her own life Hannah releases 13 tapes that describe in graphic detail the people she says contributes to her death.

The story is part mystery – part crime drama as it follows the lives of a cluster of students at Liberty High School. There are all the usual players, the jock, the cheerleaders, the nerd and the outcasts. The show follows each of their stories and the role they allegedly play in Hannah’s decision to commit suicide.

WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH

This is FAR from an easy watching show, it will make you uncomfortable and uneasy. 13 Reasons Why covers a range of issues from sexual assault to bullying. It continues all the way to parental expectation and unspoken desires. There is legal injustice and a clear display of a lack of help to someone who is in desperate need.

This show is completely frustrating and provides the viewer with a confetti mix of emotions. I cried, I laughed, I sobbed and I literally felt ill. This show is graphic in its truth and I have zero doubts that all teenage girls experience at least one of the circumstances that happen to Hannah.

This show will stay with me for always, I can just feel it in my soul. As a mother to three daughters this show depicts almost every one of my fears for them as they grow into women. I truly believe that watching this show may cause distress to some, especially those who are already experiencing mental health issues but on the same token it has the power to save someone by opening a line of communication.

What this show does display is a beautifully raw depiction of what is unfortunately a truth for many young girls in our community. It shows how quickly a person can feel overwhelmed and not as though they have many answers. hannah

This show presents an opportunity for incredibly important conversations to be started. It is perfectly clear that due to our increasing suicide rate that there is not nearly enough discussion surrounding mental health issues. This show provides me with conversation topics to speak with my children about, it provides topics that need to be addressed even if they are uncomfortable. Yes, the graphic nature of the show is strong, but so is the message of helplessness and ultimate accountability. If this show provides one person a reason to ask another person if they are okay then all of sudden it makes it worthwhile.

I say this with a clear and strong warning, this show is confrontational. It will have many triggers for those in the community who have experienced trauma. You should not watch this show alone because I truly believe it needs to be discussed with someone.

The main outcome of the show for me was seeing that no matter how desperately helpless life can seem, you are only seeing your own truth. Hannah truly believed she has no other option but little did she see how much others around her truly needed her. There are two sides to every story and it is important to reach out to hear the other side before only believing your own.

13 Reasons Why may not be for everyone but I think it shows that suicide is a desperately permanent solution to a temporary feeling in life. Suicide is preventable but only if the signs and screams for help are seen by someone else.

LIFELINE: 13 11 14

{Girl Crush Tuesday} The fabulous Mia Freedman

We have some pretty hard girl crushes. These are the types of ladies that stamp their style on the world. They are the type of people that will always be remembered and little girls grow up wanting to be. They are women of substance. Women that make the world a better place. Happy Girl Crush Tuesday everybody.line4

Today we salute Mia Freedman. Mia is a fabulously strong woman who uses her voice through many avenues. She is an editor, writer, author and blogger. She was even the youngest ever editor of Australian Cosmopolitan at the age of 24!

What we love about Mia is that she isn’t afraid to go against the norm and give her opinion regardless of the consequences. She stands by her strong opinions and isn’t naïve enough to believe that everyone will agree with her but instead supports the right of free speech.

If you are a parent with internet access you will have no doubt come across Mia’s websites, Ivillage and Mamamia. These sites are read by thousands and thousands of people every single day. She gives a voice and advice to many who don’t know where to go.

Mia isn’t afraid of standing out from the crowd and uses this power to push many causes close to her heart. These include encouraging women to embrace their bodies and giving support to those who have experienced stillborn births and miscarriages.

Mia has been very open about her own experiences with mental illness and in particular living everyday with anxiety. Brave women like Mia who use their positions to talk more openly about these issues increase awareness and acceptance for even more members of the community.

Mia might not be everyone’s cup of tea but to others she is certainly their glass of champagne.

Thanks Mia for showing our little girls not to be afraid of using their voices loudly and proudly and for teaching them that through hard work and a little perseverance anything is possible.

 

 

{The Legal Nest} What am I worth?

Today our Legal advice contributor James Horsburgh, Solicitor and Director from McIntosh McPhillamy & Co in Bathurst talks all things Family Law Property Settlement.

James has over 10 years experience and practices primarily in the areas of Family law, Criminal law and litigation. He is a Law Society Accredited Specialist in Family Law, essentially making him an expert in that field.

James is married and has two children. He is extensively involved in the local community and loves fighting the good fight.
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PROPERTY SETTLEMENT – WHAT IS A CONTRIBUTION?

Have you ever wondered how the Courts determine what your contributions are worth when deciding on a property settlement? Well, the Courts take many things into consideration. money tree

Contributions are assessed during three (3) stages of the relationship, these are:

  1. Contributions prior to the commencement of the relationship.
  2. Contributions made during the relationship.
  3. Contributions made after separation.

A question I am often asked is, does the court just look at financial contributions? The answer is no. Ultimately the court looks at three (3) types of contributions, these are:

  1. Financial Contributions
    • E.g a party’s earnings, or money or other assets brought into the relationship.
  2. Non-financial contributions
    • Contributions made directly or indirectly, by or on behalf of a party, to the acquisition, conservation or improvement of any of the property that the parties have.
  3. Contributions to the welfare of the family
    • Contributions made by either party in their capacity as homemaker or parent.

The significance or the weight which is afforded to any particular contribution is a matter for the court. However, in reaching an outcome which is fair and reasonable, it is not sufficient to say that “I have paid for everything, he/she should get nothing!”.

If you want more information about the contributions that you have made to your relationship, please do not hesitate to contact James at McIntosh McPhillamy & Co on 6331 1533 or email him directly at jhorsburgh@mcmc.com.au

James blog

{Girl Crush Tuesday} The Young Mummy

We have some pretty hard girl crushes. These are the types of ladies that stamp their style on the world. They are the type of people that will always be remembered and little girls grow up wanting to be. They are women of substance. Women that make the world a better place. Happy Girl Crush Tuesday everybody.line4Today we salute the honest, beautiful and creative Sophie Cachia – also known as The Young Mummy.

The main reason we love Sophie is because of her wonderfully brutal honesty. She is an excellent writer who shares the brilliance (and trials) of the everyday.

Sophie describes her writing as ‘boobs, pubes & all’ and she tries to keep it as real as possible. She shares her experiences as a mum, a wife and a young woman.

The thing that drew me to Sophie in the first place was her incredible honesty when she talks about her struggles with mental illness and in particular post-natal depression following the birth of her delightful son Bobby. I think the more people who give a voice to those who struggle, the easier it will be for people to seek help. I know she certainly helped me.

Sophie has transformed into a passionate crusader for many charities and given a voice to those who need it most.

One of the bravest things that Sophie has done was to share the birthing experience of her daughter Florence with the world. She shared contractions, the waiting, the pain with everyone and reminded each one of us just how powerful the female body can be.

Sophie is simply delightful and lights up my social media feed every day. We salute you Sophie for showing all little girls that a little honesty and a little bit of braveness can go a long way. Life may not be entirely perfect but it is certainly what you make of it.

You can find sophie on:

Facebook: TheYoungMummy

Instagram @sophiecachia_tym

 

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Images: The Young Mummy, Career Crush, DailyMail

 

{Gift Guide} Family Gift Guide

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Family Gift Guide

A year is full of wonderful dates which we all love to celebrate; there are many birthdays and anniversaries within a family and we all (but kids especially) look forward to the celebrations. And let’s not forget about the all sorts of ‘small victories’ which deserve to be celebrated: good grades, promotions, sport successes… It can become quite a challenge to come up with new gift ideas, but being predictable definitely shouldn’t be taken as a compliment.  Here are a few tips for those who would like to keep buying great gifts.

Kids

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Somehow, buying gifts for kids is the easiest thing to do. Since they mostly love playing games on their tablets, the safest solution is to buy them new games, or something game-related. Today, there’s plenty of merchandise inspired by Trolls, Angry Birds, Minecraft, and Star Wars. For little Minecraft enthusiasts there’s the exploding Creeper – when you press the button on its head it explodes (signature Creeper move). You can also buy them a hoverboard or a skateboard which is a clever way to make them be more active and send them outside to play.

Teenagersimage03

Teenagers are more difficult to please and keep happy  because they are going through puberty, and they are trying to discover who they really are. The teenage years are all about experimenting, trying to claim their independence, and – music. There isn’t a teenager who doesn’t like music, so you can’t go wrong if you buy them a T-shirt with a logo of their favourite band, a vintage record/vinyl or an official CD. If you want to really make them happy, buy them a ticket for their favourite band’s concert and let them have the time of their life.

Promotions image04

Being successful at what you do is incredibly important, and having your hard work and dedication recognized by others is equally rewarding. Being promoted is wonderful and it opens up a lot of great new possibilities, so it’s only natural that you want to celebrate this accomplishment with your partner or a close family member and show them how proud you are of their success. By buying wonderful unique gifts you will ensure that they remember you: a designer penbook, a colourful memo stand, a funny tape dispenser, or a strangely-designed calendar. These gifts will look great in their new office and every time they see them, they will immediately think of you and how much you’re proud of them.

Anniversaries image02

Anniversary presents are always tricky because they should show how much you know and love your partner, and that is not always easy to express through gifts. The greater the number of years the two of you have spent together, the more expensive the gift. Gentlemen, remember the golden rule- diamonds are a girl’s best friend, and by buying jewellery you will surely make your girl happy. As for you, ladies, men don’t always wear jewellery (if they do, it will be easier for you to pick a gift for them), but they usually wear watches. A nice watch is a great accessory (not to mention useful) and you can always engrave something on the back.

It’s important to remember that not everything is about gifts; the most valuable thing you can give to your family is your love and your devotion. Gifts come and go, but having a parent or a partner who is always there for you and who will always be by your side is much more important than toys or clothes. Keep your gifts unique and always put a lot of thought into choosing gifts for your family. After all, by picking a perfect gift you will show how well you know them, and that is something truly valuable.

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{The Nest Celebrations} Naming Day

Traditional christenings are becoming less and less popular and there has been a surge of Naming Days that are taking their place. namin6

Naming days are usually non-religious but are a fantastic way to celebrate your new little person with your nearest and dearest.

Today, we speak with Amanda who chose to give her son Reid a Naming Day!

TCN: So, why a naming day and not a traditional Christening or Baptism?

My husband and I aren’t particularly religious but we still wanted Reid to have his own special ceremony and a day all about him so we chose to have a Naming Day instead!naming

TCN: How old is Reid?

Reid is One! We combined his first birthday party and naming day ceremony so we could have one big day to celebrate our little man.

TCN: Did you have a Naming Day for your other child as well?

Yes, Jayce our 2.5 year old also had a Naming Day on his first birthday as well. naming3

TCN: Did you use a Celebrant or just do it yourself?

We decided to go with a Celebrant. She was the same lady who completed Jayce’s Naming Day as well as our wedding! So it has been lovely that she has been a part of our lives in so many ways over the years!

TCN: Are their any local suppliers who made your Naming Day just that little bit more special?

Yes!

We have a beautiful cake from Cakes By Katrina

Some delicious food provided by Smoking Brothers Catering

Our gorgeous balloons were from Balloons and Baskets

My lovely dress was from Little Party Dress

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