{Bachelor AU} Recap with shite drawings. Episode three.

So ep3 of sexy hot churros twenty17 gives us the first big pash – A pig chase and the farewell of the mightily flexible.

So our first date is on a boat – and if you wanna forget you’re on a boat you won’t -because Laura and MattyJ talk about being on a boat for like the whole time. They are cute. He has had her eye on her since the very beginning (big words fella, it’s been like 6 days, I’m not sure your endurance really shows much credit) and she has been crushing hard since the very beginning. Oh. sigh.

The best bit is how fkn nervous she is and she does what most of us do and WON’T. STOP. TALKING. Think similar to: “I had a guinea pig named flea when I was five” – “I don’t like peas” – I broke my nail when I was 13″ – “Gee I like boats”.

They draw pictures of each other.

They giggle and flirt awkwardly (read above: guinea pig)

Then there is a fkn moment that seems to last for 27 years when they stare into each other’s ridiculously dreamy eyes and they pash. Like a good ol’ fashioned pash but on the positive, this time neither party makes a dash!

It’s adorable and slightly wet but the first kiss of the season always is.

Cheers to the adorable ones. bach 3

At the group date we are transported back to King Henry(?)’s time. There are massive costume dresses and pig chasing.

Nothing says 2017 like making girls wear old fashioned dresses, get dumped in a cage and chase baby pigs around in order to win a date with the one eligible bachelor *that reminds me must burn bra again soon in protest of something*

2 girls win and head to the ‘bachie banquet’

Next is a game of quoits (the toss a ring on a stick game) but to make it interesting they wack the girls into sacks. Genius right??

Then there is a fkn vicious game of soccer – like brawling would be a nicer way to say it.

The two winners from each group are off to dinner with hot royal churros.

Leah decided to play dirty (shocking I know) and fakes her true feelings “Oh, I take on everyone else’s problems. I’m so selfless. I’m a lover of the people” *cough cough*

Bachie is all like woah babes you alright?

Anyways then we roll around to the cocktail party – just the usual – Leah hates Simone – Simone hates Leah – Jennifer is fkn hilarious

Then the beat drops and tears are flowing and the most flexible in the group Akoulina is sent packing. She doesn’t seem too sad. Having said that she does seem a bit pissed about still wearing medieval wear.  READ: Where’s all the Alex Perry Couture?

Until next time my fancies…

THE GOOD: Laura is pretty popular and Elora is still cruising even if she was in the bottom three this week (well played producers)

THE BAD: Leah again needs to go to class something called “How not to lie to boys and like it”

Until next time – may the rose be forever in your favour.

{Bachelor AU} Recap with shite drawings. Episode two.

Yep it’s episode 2 of sexy hot churros bachie twenty-seventeen.

Today was pretty full on. We start by taking the gorgeous ever wanderlustful Elora on a boat. To Port Stephens. It looks colder than a penguin’s fanny TBH. Anyway they swim. She seduces him using as few words as possible. You can see they want to shag and i’m pretty during if they were at the Courthouse Hotel on a Thursday nite – 6 rum and cokes in – there would be a sleepover in their immediate future.

Elora is really fkn attractive and saying all the things like “I know what love feels like and it’s worth fighting for“. You can hear the producers in the background jizzing in their pants.

He like her. He gives her a rose. She’s safe for another day.

Then there is a group date. Its a photo shoot for a reputable magazine based around ‘first dates’ ep2

First up is a threesome. My mate Jennifer is made to dress like she has a condom on her head. Florence wears a red itsby bitsy bikini. MattyJ looks hot.

The producers are all obviously like “piss Jen off ASAP” because they make her stand in the background while Flo grips Matty in the pool like a toddler who doesn’t want to go to daycare.

Not long after Jen brings up out fave 80s line “No body puts baby in the corner”, dives into the pool and straight up onto MattyJ like a spider monkey.

The next scene was a party from 1989. Pretty boring really *checks facebook and instagram*, but then Sian does the worm. That’s pretty smashing.

The next scene was cheerleaders with three girls in the photoshoot. Not really sure who was there only Simone who was all with the talking/touching/giggling/flirting.

Sian and Leah stood on the sidelines throwing shade *jealous*

Then comes the best awkward bit on Australian TV since that time they announced the wrong winner of Australia’s Next Top Model. Having said that, even that fails in comparison to the actions of Leah 2017.

So Matty & Leah on a motorbike and fuck it’s annoying. MattyJ is all like I wish you brushed your teeth and Leah is all “I am so fkn gorgeous right now”

Nek minut Leah leans in for a pash. MattyJ does the dash with a solid ‘nu-uh galfrand’

It is brilliantly awkward and wonderfully tragic. *Producers jizzing again*

To remind us all about the romance and the rich people lives the bachie pretends to live, we then head to a private mansion and play tennis in a one on one date with barbie look-a-like Lisa.

Lisa looks fierce in the all-white ensemble she has been given *makes every single female in the country question their own sexuality*

She beats him in tennis. He likes it.

They go in the pool. Loads of giggling. Less sexual tension than that time with Elora but still they have fun (watch out friend zone possibility).

He gives her a rose. They look like Barbie and Ken do the bachelor.

We flash to all the ladies at the cocktail party. We can’t get past Sian and her ‘suns out tits out’ dress philosophy. Also there is some solid bitching between a couple of the girls. TBH we don’t care because we are still thinking about Leah and her attempted assault of MattyJ luscious lips.

Next comes the rose ceremony. Pretty predictable. All of a sudden there is this chick that looks like a Kardashian that no one has ever seen before in the last two. Obvs she is on the way out. Catch ya later Laura-Ann Kardashian.

THE GOOD: Elora is frontrunner. Lisa is holding good in second.

THE BAD: Leah needs to go to class about body language, specialising in ‘when a man doesn’t love a woman’.

Until next time – may the rose be forever in your favour.

{Bachelor AU} Recap with shite drawings. Episode One.

So bachie 5.0 kicked off this week and here is the world’s shittest replay.

So, we meet Matty J – you might remember him from that time he had his heart stamped on before the nation last year in Georgia Love’s bachelorette show. Not to be dramatic but it was quite possibly the most dramatic moment in Australian TV since the time that Maggie died on Blue Heelers.

Matty J is like a churros hot on the outside, lovely and delicious on the inside.

He likes long walks. Spending time with his nephew. Generally being awesome at life.

BACH EP1 (1)

In quick succession we meet this year’s desperate potential suitors.

One chick says looking at him makes her “ovaries tingle”. MattyJ looks absolute thrilled to hear that :/

Natalie – the former lesbian advises Matty J that he turned her straight again after she spent six months stalking him on Instagram.  Hot churros man looks overwhelmed. #NotAStalkerAtAll

Michelle the police officer lady arrives in a squad car – lights and all. Matty shits himself and remembers that time he peed in a bush and was arrested. She threw him around a bit. He liked it.

Cobie arrives in silence and makes churros man suck down a bunch of toxic helium gas so they sound strangely like drugged mice. He seems to think she is funny.

One chick with an entirely difficult to spell name comes in with some rhythmic gymnast moves that both confuse and clearly excite MattyJ with her infinite flexibility.

Then Leah arrives half starkers and declares she wants to show him her secret garden.

At the cocktail party all the girls are getting along famously more interested in pissing on each other, like puppies marking their territory before an intruder comes in. Intruder is a strong term, like they have all only been there for 37 seconds by this time. Elora is a fire twirler who is not only smokin’ hot personal trainer but comes from Hawaii and is so settled here she even brought her dog #HopeSheToldImmigration

Once intruder alert dies down, Elizabeth throws shade at Jennifer by saying “Yo babez your dress is putrid”. Jennifer cries. No one really cares.

Osher comes in like a perfectly styled Ken doll and announces the inclusion of a secret garden this year. Leah confirms she wants hot churros to see her secret garden.

Not long afterward Natalie gets 47 hundred thousand glasses of champers in her well toned guts and acts worse than a first-year kid at o-week. She farts publicly and runs around generally causing outrage and judgement.

Then it’s time for the rose ceremony. He kicks out Miss Personality and Monica (we don’t really know who Monica is, but obvs there was zero interest from MattyJ).

THE GOOD: we like Michelle and Lisa, they appear to be the frontrunners

THE BAD: Leah who is basically nakid and Natalie who may need a referral to AA.

Until next time – may the rose be forever in your favour.


{The Nest Reviews} Why you should watch 13 Reasons Why

NOTE: I have exactly zero qualifications when it comes to having the right to comment on what you should be or not be watching. The following is simply my experience as a mother, wife and friend. If you are experiencing a difficult time in your life then I implore you to should seek help through your doctor or give Lifeline a call on 13 11 14.

Last night I finished watching the Netflix Original television series 13 Reasons Why and I say without hesitation that I recommend that you watch it too. The show is intense. It is heartbreaking and powerful. It is tragic and overflowing with grief. I know its not really a good way to sell it, but 13 Reasons Why is not a show filled with optimism or the hope of tomorrow but rather a sense of urgency to look at those around you. 13-reasons-why-2


13 Reasons Why is based around the suicide of 17 year old school student Hannah Baker. Before she takes her own life Hannah releases 13 tapes that describe in graphic detail the people she says contributes to her death.

The story is part mystery – part crime drama as it follows the lives of a cluster of students at Liberty High School. There are all the usual players, the jock, the cheerleaders, the nerd and the outcasts. The show follows each of their stories and the role they allegedly play in Hannah’s decision to commit suicide.


This is FAR from an easy watching show, it will make you uncomfortable and uneasy. 13 Reasons Why covers a range of issues from sexual assault to bullying. It continues all the way to parental expectation and unspoken desires. There is legal injustice and a clear display of a lack of help to someone who is in desperate need.

This show is completely frustrating and provides the viewer with a confetti mix of emotions. I cried, I laughed, I sobbed and I literally felt ill. This show is graphic in its truth and I have zero doubts that all teenage girls experience at least one of the circumstances that happen to Hannah.

This show will stay with me for always, I can just feel it in my soul. As a mother to three daughters this show depicts almost every one of my fears for them as they grow into women. I truly believe that watching this show may cause distress to some, especially those who are already experiencing mental health issues but on the same token it has the power to save someone by opening a line of communication.

What this show does display is a beautifully raw depiction of what is unfortunately a truth for many young girls in our community. It shows how quickly a person can feel overwhelmed and not as though they have many answers. hannah

This show presents an opportunity for incredibly important conversations to be started. It is perfectly clear that due to our increasing suicide rate that there is not nearly enough discussion surrounding mental health issues. This show provides me with conversation topics to speak with my children about, it provides topics that need to be addressed even if they are uncomfortable. Yes, the graphic nature of the show is strong, but so is the message of helplessness and ultimate accountability. If this show provides one person a reason to ask another person if they are okay then all of sudden it makes it worthwhile.

I say this with a clear and strong warning, this show is confrontational. It will have many triggers for those in the community who have experienced trauma. You should not watch this show alone because I truly believe it needs to be discussed with someone.

The main outcome of the show for me was seeing that no matter how desperately helpless life can seem, you are only seeing your own truth. Hannah truly believed she has no other option but little did she see how much others around her truly needed her. There are two sides to every story and it is important to reach out to hear the other side before only believing your own.

13 Reasons Why may not be for everyone but I think it shows that suicide is a desperately permanent solution to a temporary feeling in life. Suicide is preventable but only if the signs and screams for help are seen by someone else.

LIFELINE: 13 11 14

{Book Club} Anything but Love

Every new year needs a little steamy goodness and our friend Jacqueline Hayley has your heart, mind and loins taken care of in her new seductive love story.

Set in outback Australia Anything but Love takes you on a seductive journey through the life of a city girl who moves to the Central West and falls in love with a farmer. It was meant to be anything but love.  anything-but-love

This provocative novel will have you on the edge of your seat and quickly you will find yourself dragged into a whimsical world filled with love, adventure and romance.

I gave this book to my mama with the strict instruction to report back within a fortnight to give me her opinion, she rang the next morning and said “I didn’t sleep and hot damn, that book kept me awake”.

Any book that is read within a night and stops your world has to be worth it.

Head to www.jacquelinehayley.com to grab your copy today.

You won’t be disappointed!

Happy reading nesters x


{Little People Looks} Little Boohoo Bargains

There is exactly zero that I love more than good children’s clothing, you add to that great value and a stylish edge and I am weak at the knees. boohoo5

Recently I discovered that one of my favourite brands was expanding from just catering for the grownups into also offering little people looks.


Boohoo Kids is fresh, modern and funky. It is essential shirts, quality jeans and wonderful dresses.


It’s trendy floral, destination denim and pops of colour.

One of my faves is that they offer fantastic shoes that go the distance, my little lady has been knocking about in these Leopard Print Trainers and they still look brand new.


If you want a cool new look for the little people then make sure you check out Boohoo Kids.


I love that postage is not even a problem, to be honest I often receive packages from Boohoo quicker than I receive parcels bought in Australia, the team at Boohoo know the need for quick turn around on your latest looks. Plus, once you spend $40 postage is free!


Boohoo Kids is cool, hip and urban and your little people will love the way the clothes make them feel.


Happy shopping nesters

SHOP HERE| www.boohoo.com |

*While this is a sponsored post made in collaboration with Boohoo.com all opinions stated are the writer’s own and a true reflection of her experience with the item* 



{The Nest Loves} The DailyGreatness Journal may just turn your life around

daily greatness logo


I am the Kween of procrastination, promises of tomorrow and ‘gunnas’ but I have finally found something to help reign in my poor excuses and bad food choices.

Friends, let me introduce you to the DailyGreatness Journal.


The premise of these little beauties accourding to their creator Lyndelle Palmer Clarke is that you can “be your own guru, the journals help to empower you to consciously create your days, help you reach your potential and support you in realising you are the architect of your destiny”.

You can choose between either the Daily Greatness Journal, the Daily Greatness Business Planner, Yoga Journal or Training Journal (12 week). journals

I am planning on getting my chubby little mitts on the DailyGreatness 12 week Training Journal, how brillz will that be during the lead up to summer?

What feature I love the most is that the journals offer a holistic training guide, especailly targeted towards women. Plus, any help to be healthier and live longer is great!


In addition, if you know me at all you will know what a ridiculous stationary addict I am, and thankfully these journals are not only good for my health but also my eyeballs! Offering high quality paper, beautiful luscious designs as well as the kick in the arse I need, it really is a match made in heaven.

Pop over and check out the store at DailyGreatness today.

Happy life planning Nesters xx


 *DailyGreatness & The Central Nest are affiliates, so when you purchase from them you are helping our little blog x

{The Nest Reviews} The HydraFacial at Macquarie Medi Spa

I have found the perfect gift to get your mummy this mother’s day. It is relaxing, beneficial and quiet. Now, what type of mum doesn’t want that!

I was recently invited to Macquarie Medi Spa to experience the new HydraFacial™.

Now they made all these promises to me guaranteeing me that it is a one of its kind treatment in our area and offers cleansing, exfoliation, extraction and hydration all at one time. It is non-invasive and non-surgical and that certainly interests me! So here is how it went.

I arrived and was welcomed by a friendly staff member on arrival, she asked if I wanted a glass of water or a coffee and I knew straight away it was worth coming.

I met Charlotte a wonderfully friendly beauty therapist who took me into a quiet room filled with ambient lighting and soothing music and we discussed my skin and any concerns I have. I explained that I hate the blackheads that have taken up residence on my nose as well as the milia spots I have surrounding my eyes. She assured me that she could help to relieve some of these problem areas for me.

After being given a warm towel I curled up on the bed and waited patiently. Charlotte started by shaping my eyebrows and giving my face a gentle massage. Once the HydraFacial machine was started there were some slurping and pulling sensations on my face and the cleansing was over. Next came the exfoliation and extraction. That was unbelievable! It didn’t hurt at all but I could literally feel the pull of the pores being opened! Finally she applied a hydration which drenched my face in a luxurious cream that soothed and replenished my skin.

The most interesting part of the whole treatment was that at the end of the hydration Charlotte asked me if I wanted to see what had come out of my skin. Of course, without hesitation I said yes! So she pulled out the canister and showed me the magnitude of disgusting, dirty and dead skin cells that have been collected by the machine! How incredible to actually be able to see the physical results! macquaeie

I have to admit I was hesitant when I was first approached about undertaking a facial by a machine, my usual facial consists of the beautifully trained (and usually well manicured) hands of a beauty therapist massaging my face, but this was really a wonderful experience. My face felt beautiful afterwards and was super soft to the touch. The best part however was that my face was even clearer the next day!

I left not only with a clearer face but with some great tips and advice from Charlotte on how to treat MY face and MY skin conditions and MY dry patches. I love that it was so personalised.

I can genuinely say that my experience of the  HydraFacial at Macquarie Medi Spa exceeded my expectations and I cannot wait to go back again.

So without a doubt you should pop down today and book yourself (or your mama) in for this sensation treatment. You will not regret it!



{The Nest Reviews} The Stardust Big Top

On Friday night we were invited by Stardust Circus to stop by the big tent and check out the show.

It is family run affair and they do give you a good family night out. We were quite surprised that even the 10 month old baby-bird stayed awake way past her bedtime and clapped and cheered for the entire two hour show.

The circus was great because it is fabulous for kids and adults alike. Our girls loved the show, especially the horses and high flying trapeze! stardust2

We have to admit we had reservations before the show regarding the use of live animals, so we had a chat to the ringmaster himself and learnt a little more about the treatment of the animals. The Circus Industry is regulated by the State Government and they work in conjunction with not only Taronga Zoo but also the RSPCA to ensure the animals are always protected. Strict regulations have been created which include the size of cages that the animals can be held in, how long they can be transported and how often they are used in a show. The lions are accommodated in reverse-cycle temperature controlled trailers that are fully insulated and air-conditioned. All the animals have large outside areas for exercise and are stimulated daily by their trainers. All the animals are exposed to new smells and sights every few weeks as they move towns and locations. He also assured me that the animals are trained using positive reinforcement rather than punishment.

The lions even have a higher life expectancy in the circus as opposed to their wild counterparts. In the wild, lions survive for an average of 8 to 10 years, whereas circus lions can often survive for 25 to 30 years.

During the show it was clear there was a high level of respect between all the animals and their trainers. stardust

One of the highlights was the high flying trapeze show. The incredible skill and genuine guts that were needed were astounding. My kids (and husband alike!) were filled with ‘ooos’ and ‘aaaahs’ during the big tricks.

The staff were friendly and professional before the show and during intermission. We would definitely recommend taking your little birdies to the see Stardust Circus in action. Our kids LOVED this show!

The show will be in Bathurst until 20 March and you can find more information here -> Stardust Circus or call the team on 0418 247 287

Bathurst Show dates:

Wed 9th March 7pm
Thur 10th 7pm
Fri 11th 7pm
Sat 12th 4pm & 7pm
Sun 13th 11am & 2pm
Wed 16th 7pm
Thur 17th 7pm
Fri 18th 7pm
Sat 19th 4pm & 7pm
Sun 20th 11am ONLY

{The Nest Favourites} The things we love twenty fifteen edit.

2015 was a really big year for our little nest, we welcomed our new little birdie, Coco and celebrated kid-bird’s graduation from kindy before heading to big school soon!

It has been a wonderful year filled with friendship, love and the best kind of sleepless nights.

Here are a few of our favourite things from 2015:

Stink it

The Glasshouse Bordeaux vanilla noir diffuser is a welcome addition to our home this year. Offering small hints of vanilla, dark chocolate and hazelnut it smells delicious. 500ml_Bordeaux_05_grande

You can grab your Glasshouse product online or from Sassy My Style.

We love it because it envelops our nest with touches of velvety reds from the vineyards of south-west France, it has notes of refreshing vanilla, dark chocolate and rich hazelnut. Each time I walk past it I feel like I am in an expensive boutique! Plus, it hides the stink of baby poo and regurgitated milk stink that seems to permeate our home.

Run it

I am loving myself sick in my new pumped up kicks. My new loves are the Asics Gel-Nimbus 17 NYC and I got them from The Athletes Foot

They are bouncy and comfy and totes rad.asics shoe

Plus they tick all the boxes with support, flexibility and general durability.

Sleep it

Early in 2015 we purchased two of the Polly Beds from our friends at Incy Interiors for our toddler-bird and our kid-bird. They share a room and they have been brilliant.

Not only are the Polly Beds whimsical and coloured like lollypops they are sturdy and comfy. We have had adults who stay in the beds comment on how wonderful they are.

* NOTE not actual photo of our beds as they are currently covered with barbies, batman costumes and a moody toddler.

* NOTE not actual photo of our beds as they are currently covered with barbies, batman costumes and a moody toddler.

What makes the Polly Beds even better is the fact that are adjustable and are quite high. This means that I am able to utilise the storage space beneath them. We have stored all old clothes as well as the barbies, Sylvanian Families and dress-ups underneath. Plus one of my mates did the ultimate hack and used an IKEA bookcase on its side for storage straight under the bed. GENIUS.

Plus they look totally amaze.

Wear it

One splurge this year that I am completely loving HARD are my Celine Shadow Sunglassesceline

Whilst not the darkest lenses in my collection that just ooze modern cool. Each time I put them on I instantly feel a smidge bit hip.

Wrap it

The bestest most greatest thing I have ever discovered during my parenting journey are the Love To Dream – Wrap Me Ups.love to dream

They are without a doubt the best investment we have made. We have used these little miracle workers with all three of the little pink dragons and they have ensured many dreams from the littlest ones.

They are safe, help prevent SIDS and allow your little bambino to relax in a natural position.


Light it

Being on trend can be expensive but our latest find from Kmart is the complete opposite.

The Copper and Wood Lamp is a steal at only $20 and is bang on trend.lamp

It is adjustable and fits beautifully on the side corner of my mess desk.

Cook it

Admittedly I am not the world’s best cook and by best cook I mean I once burned steamed vegetables so bad that they near caught on fire. Having said that, since having my Thermomix I am a bloody champ in the kitchen. I blitz and mince and puree like a kween!

It is a pretty exxy purchase price but I use it A WHOLE LOAD. Even just the ability to make spag-bog on Thursday after swimming lessons but before basketball in 15 minutes is worth it for me. I can add a multitude of vegies and the little birdies don’t even know!


The best feature for our little nest has without a doubt been the ability to make baby food. No longer do we buy baby food we simply add whatever we are eating to thermorelda and BAM SHAZAM she has dinner. We have not purchased pre-made baby food at all this time around and I certainly am loving that in the hip-pocket.

Work it

I got given a FitBit Charge HR and I love it.

The best bit about having one is that it helps keep you on track. I find that little bit of motivation when you are able to see how much you have moved during the day is brilliant. fitbit

Plus it tells the time, your heart rate and a whole bunch of other important stuff.

Having said that, the actual best part about the FitBit Charge HR is the fact that it tracks your sleep cycle. Sounds so not exciting but it is fantastic when the the hubby-bird says things like “Ah, the baby-bird slept well last night didn’t she” and without saying a word I simply show him my sleep graph and how many times his magical sleeping baby actually woke and needed attention.

Love it

The brilliant Chi Khi kidswear line launched this year and our little birdie has worn her Chi Khi messy dot romper and beanie more than anything else in her wardrobe.

chi khi

So, she has grown a smidgen since this was taken and by a smidgen I mean like 10 kilos.

It is fabulous from a mama point of view because it has a zipper that undoes from the bottom which make early morning changes easy and now that she is getting around it has sensational protection for her little knees.

I just wish they made these in big human size.

So what are you faves this year nesters?