So ep3 of sexy hot churros twenty17 gives us the first big pash – A pig chase and the farewell of the mightily flexible.

So our first date is on a boat – and if you wanna forget you’re on a boat you won’t -because Laura and MattyJ talk about being on a boat for like the whole time. They are cute. He has had her eye on her since the very beginning (big words fella, it’s been like 6 days, I’m not sure your endurance really shows much credit) and she has been crushing hard since the very beginning. Oh. sigh.

The best bit is how fkn nervous she is and she does what most of us do and WON’T. STOP. TALKING. Think similar to: “I had a guinea pig named flea when I was five” – “I don’t like peas” – I broke my nail when I was 13″ – “Gee I like boats”.

They draw pictures of each other.

They giggle and flirt awkwardly (read above: guinea pig)

Then there is a fkn moment that seems to last for 27 years when they stare into each other’s ridiculously dreamy eyes and they pash. Like a good ol’ fashioned pash but on the positive, this time neither party makes a dash!

It’s adorable and slightly wet but the first kiss of the season always is.

Cheers to the adorable ones. 

At the group date we are transported back to King Henry(?)’s time. There are massive costume dresses and pig chasing.

Nothing says 2017 like making girls wear old fashioned dresses, get dumped in a cage and chase baby pigs around in order to win a date with the one eligible bachelor *that reminds me must burn bra again soon in protest of something*

2 girls win and head to the ‘bachie banquet’

Next is a game of quoits (the toss a ring on a stick game) but to make it interesting they wack the girls into sacks. Genius right??

Then there is a fkn vicious game of soccer – like brawling would be a nicer way to say it.

The two winners from each group are off to dinner with hot royal churros.

Leah decided to play dirty (shocking I know) and fakes her true feelings “Oh, I take on everyone else’s problems. I’m so selfless. I’m a lover of the people” *cough cough*

Bachie is all like woah babes you alright?

Anyways then we roll around to the cocktail party – just the usual – Leah hates Simone – Simone hates Leah – Jennifer is fkn hilarious

Then the beat drops and tears are flowing and the most flexible in the group Akoulina is sent packing. She doesn’t seem too sad. Having said that she does seem a bit pissed about still wearing medieval wear.  READ: Where’s all the Alex Perry Couture?

Until next time my fancies…

THE GOOD: Laura is pretty popular and Elora is still cruising even if she was in the bottom three this week (well played producers)

THE BAD: Leah again needs to go to class something called “How not to lie to boys and like it”

Until next time – may the rose be forever in your favour.