{The Nest Reviews} Why you should watch 13 Reasons Why

NOTE: I have exactly zero qualifications when it comes to having the right to comment on what you should be or not be watching. The following is simply my experience as a mother, wife and friend. If you are experiencing a difficult time in your life then I implore you to should seek help through your doctor or give Lifeline a call on 13 11 14.

Last night I finished watching the Netflix Original television series 13 Reasons Why and I say without hesitation that I recommend that you watch it too. The show is intense. It is heartbreaking and powerful. It is tragic and overflowing with grief. I know its not really a good way to sell it, but 13 Reasons Why is not a show filled with optimism or the hope of tomorrow but rather a sense of urgency to look at those around you. 13-reasons-why-2

ABOUT

13 Reasons Why is based around the suicide of 17 year old school student Hannah Baker. Before she takes her own life Hannah releases 13 tapes that describe in graphic detail the people she says contributes to her death.

The story is part mystery – part crime drama as it follows the lives of a cluster of students at Liberty High School. There are all the usual players, the jock, the cheerleaders, the nerd and the outcasts. The show follows each of their stories and the role they allegedly play in Hannah’s decision to commit suicide.

WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH

This is FAR from an easy watching show, it will make you uncomfortable and uneasy. 13 Reasons Why covers a range of issues from sexual assault to bullying. It continues all the way to parental expectation and unspoken desires. There is legal injustice and a clear display of a lack of help to someone who is in desperate need.

This show is completely frustrating and provides the viewer with a confetti mix of emotions. I cried, I laughed, I sobbed and I literally felt ill. This show is graphic in its truth and I have zero doubts that all teenage girls experience at least one of the circumstances that happen to Hannah.

This show will stay with me for always, I can just feel it in my soul. As a mother to three daughters this show depicts almost every one of my fears for them as they grow into women. I truly believe that watching this show may cause distress to some, especially those who are already experiencing mental health issues but on the same token it has the power to save someone by opening a line of communication.

What this show does display is a beautifully raw depiction of what is unfortunately a truth for many young girls in our community. It shows how quickly a person can feel overwhelmed and not as though they have many answers. hannah

This show presents an opportunity for incredibly important conversations to be started. It is perfectly clear that due to our increasing suicide rate that there is not nearly enough discussion surrounding mental health issues. This show provides me with conversation topics to speak with my children about, it provides topics that need to be addressed even if they are uncomfortable. Yes, the graphic nature of the show is strong, but so is the message of helplessness and ultimate accountability. If this show provides one person a reason to ask another person if they are okay then all of sudden it makes it worthwhile.

I say this with a clear and strong warning, this show is confrontational. It will have many triggers for those in the community who have experienced trauma. You should not watch this show alone because I truly believe it needs to be discussed with someone.

The main outcome of the show for me was seeing that no matter how desperately helpless life can seem, you are only seeing your own truth. Hannah truly believed she has no other option but little did she see how much others around her truly needed her. There are two sides to every story and it is important to reach out to hear the other side before only believing your own.

13 Reasons Why may not be for everyone but I think it shows that suicide is a desperately permanent solution to a temporary feeling in life. Suicide is preventable but only if the signs and screams for help are seen by someone else.

LIFELINE: 13 11 14

{This is life} Why I run to save my mind

This is an article contributed by one of our fabulous nesters. She chooses to remain anonymous, and we are super okay with that! So, let’s keep it positive and supportive and let her know she is not alone x

watercolourPreface: I wrote this not because I’m pro running or I wanted to encourage people to exercise. Not because I wanted to shame people who sleep train or those who don’t. I wrote this for the all mums who are at their wits end. To the ones who don’t get regular breaks from their children. To the ones whose kids don’t sleep. The ones who feel their control slipping, their world crumbling. The ones who are dying inside.

You, you reading right now, you’ve got this.

You can.

So find what works and do it! Do it every damn day until everything finds its place. I promise that this too shall pass xxx

Let’s talk exercise. It’s always been proudly a word that wasn’t in my vocabulary. Although I consider myself an fairly active person, I mow the lawns, walk my boys to school and I’ve always been the mum that chases her kids at the park. But I’m talking formal exercise. The kind the makes me sweat. A lot. To be honest, it’s not really my cup of tea.

Last year in August I found my mental health slipping, my youngest was nine months and had never really slept, he was, and still is really hard work. My gorgeous little bundle of joy has been a right handful since the day I met him. My baby, he doesn’t like to be carried or cuddled but at the same time doesn’t want you out of sight! Before he could move on his own that would make for a stupidly hard situation. Pick him up to carry him he would thrash and squirm and squeal. Walk to put the washing on and not take him with you?

Stage 10 meltdown.

What am I supposed to do with that?

Getting him to sleep was hard. He never wanted to be cuddled to sleep. He wouldn’t lay in our bed. I couldn’t bare to leave him to cry. How was I supposed to get this kid to sleep? Everyday,  for every sleep I would put him in the cot. He would cry. I would pick him up and try to cuddle him and he would squirm until I put him back down.

Over and over and over.

Sometimes I could power walk him around the house in the carrier, but he was getting heavy and once he was asleep apin drop would wake him. I could never transfer him to the cot, so I would have to sit slumped over with him asleep on my back crying, balling.

The struggle was real.

I was convinced I had post natal depression. I went to the doctor. I begged for help. I asked anyone that would listen for more than five minutes. No one had any advice. Usually as a parent you are surrounded by people who love to dish out unsolicited parenting advice but when you actually ask for it you get nothing.

Tresillan was all I was offered over and over. I read their parent information book so many times. Their sleep School techniques just weren’t for me.

I yelled at my husband. I blamed him because I couldn’t make it work. I was being pushed into a corner, being forced to do something I didn’t want to do because the alternative was dire, really dire. I was on the edge.

It effected my whole life. I couldn’t remember taking my older boy to school. I would constantly lose things.

My patience was gone.

When the baby did finally sleep, I would lay there so consumed by my exhaustion it was take hours for me to drift off. I was the kind of tired that “here I’ll take you baby for an hour just couldn’t fix” I would laugh at the suggestion, not that it was offered often. Unless you’re taking him for a week, there’s no need to bother. That hour would only be used laying in bed thinking, trying to fall asleep only to have the knock on the door and reality to be staring me back in the face.

I went to a therapist, I told her I was depressed. She assured me that is was indeed just suffering from extreme exhaustion.

It takes a village to raise a baby and my village is small, really small. I passed the baton and that was it. It was my husband’s turn.

My husband,  my hero.

He took the night shift from that day, very day. Every shift. For the next month I slept, every night. I woke up every time the baby made a sound but I slowly drifted back off.

After two weeks, I decided I was going to make a change. I couldn’t just hope forever that sleep was coming. I was now convinced that the baby would never sleep through the night and this was my forever.

So, I started running.shoes

I mostly started because listening to him wake up and cry, killed me. It was a reminder that although the nights are over, the days are here, I was on my own and they were even harder.

Every morning at 5am he would wake up screaming.

So. I set my alarm for 4:30am and run.

I ran from my problems, I ran from the baby and his cries, I ran from my life.

The problem is as I mentioned earlier, I had never actually exercised before. So, really, technically, I didn’t run. I walked, ran, stopped for a stitch and hobbled.

Then came home.  Every day.

Now I can run.

Now the baby sleeps through the night and he doesn’t wake up crying (probably because he sleeps through the night) and now when strangers say “what a happy baby” I don’t feel the urge to kick them in the shin.

Monday to Saturday  6 days a week I run. Not far. Only about 2.5kms to the end of my street and back.

Some days it’s easy, some days it’s hard.

I haven’t lost any weight and let me assure you, I’m not very good at it. You know those coordinated women on the Nike ad? Yeah, no, nothing like that. But everyday I get up and give it a go because I want my kids to know that even though they are hard work, it’s all about attitude. It’s all about trying, giving it a solid go. Not giving up when shits really fucking hard and to never ever be afraid to ask for help!

I found Instagram a place of inspiration and in particular @mrs_paulie. She is a powerhouse and has been my girl crush for so long it’s boardline stalkerish, check her out!

So on that note, Peace lovers This rad bitch is going for a run xxx

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{Parenting} Post natal neglect

Could this be the case? Could it be true that post natal depression is neglect?

I certainly believe this is probably the case.

This article, Post partum depression by Claudia Gold MD is certainly worth reading.

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Maybe it is society who needs to be diagnosed?

What do you think?

{This is life} Here are the New Years Resolution you should actually do

Yep. So about this time of the year, your brilliant-this-year-is-the-year-my-resolutions-will-stick are often wavering.

Here are the resolutions you SHOULD make for the new year.

15 resolutions for the new year.resolution

Forget the standard ones like ‘lose weight’ or ‘give up smoking’  or ‘stop licking every piece of chocolate I see’ resolutions. These resolutions are for your soul.

Happy reading Nesters x

 

{The Nest Health} What i wish people knew about depression

Depression is consuming. It does not discriminate. It is powerful.

Depression is misunderstood.

This article is beyond interesting. What I Wish People Knew About Depression is an insight to what I can only imagine is a painful world to live.robin williams

The more we talk about it, the less stigma that will be attached.

Share this Nesters, you never know who you might save.

Happy heath Nesters x

{Watch This} Empathy verses sympathy

empathy_vs_sympathy-580x275

A gorgeous person I know recently shared this beautiful short video that really contains one of the most important messages you will hear.

The ongoing battle of empathy verses sympathy is remarkably difficult to break, but really, your reaction to another’s situation can make the biggest of differences.

I, myself am guilty of ‘silver lining things’ that are tough, hard or difficult to discuss. The beauty about this film is that it shows the importance of creating a genuine empathetic connection with another person.

Please, for the sake of every other person that you share this world with, take the time to watch this video.

{The Nest Health} Anxiety and the unknown. Finally, someone explains it simply.

One very clever person has finally been able to put into cartoon drawings what people have been trying to say for years.

anxiety cartoon

This is quite possibly the easiest way to describe anxiety to people who don’t understand it (or like myself have never experienced it so struggle to fully understand what it must feel like).

Tumblr user Sophie Wright posted the following images on her blog, Snapdraws, to provide others with a glimpse into life with anxiety.

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You can see more here -> Snapdraws – Anxiety Cartoons

You can get help at Beyond Blue or Lifeline.