{This is life} Radio Silence

So, the battery in my car died this week. I don’t know how it happened as I refuse to admit loudly to the hubs that he was correct in assuming that I left the lights on AGAIN.

So I am awaiting the installation of a new car battery in the next few days, it has been a frustrating experience, from making sure each time I park my car the nose is pointing in the right direction in case I need a jump start through to the petrol I am using by leaving my car running for fear of it dying again! The most infuriating problem however has been the fact that the auto security on my radio has kicked in and I need a code to restart it. So, because I told the hubs I knew EXACTLY where the car book was and refuse again to admit my failings in all things car-manual-organisation I have been living in silence. Radio silence. headphones

These are the things I have learnt in a week of radio silence.

I can hear fights before they happen.

This one surprised me. Seriously. All of a sudden because I am not distracted in co-song harmony with my gal pal Taylor Swift I can hear the nigglings of a fight between the natives before it even happens. An example was the one time I heard this “Nope, nope, nope. Tis mines piglet”. This was the undeniable rumbling of fisty-cuffs in the back seat. Due to my lack of audio interference I bounced my voice through the cabin and told the kid to return the piglet to the toddler. Problem solved even before it really began.

List it.

On my morning drive to work I have been making lists in my head of all the things and jobs and stuff that I have to get done. Due to the quiet inside the car I have had time to think about paying the phone bill, cancelling the kid’s doctor’s appointment and planning what we will have for dinner. It’s funny how the background radio sound cancels out the ability to think clearly about the mundane.

Grateful.

In the silence I have been compiling a list of things I am grateful for. The silence has given me the ability for mindfulness. Good health, a hard working and loving husband, kids that aren’t arseholes all of the time.

Pelvic time.

When I stop at the red lights or roundabouts I now have nothing better to do than my pelvic floor exercises. I mean 3.5 kids did exactly nothing good for that situation that I look for opportunities when I can.

Call.

I call all those people I haven’t had a chance to speak with lately. For some reason my radio won’t play music but will let me utilise the Bluetooth to call. So hello grandparents, long lost friends and doctor appointments. It’s totes multitasking.

So, while it may not be ideal it certainly has made me aware that sometimes radio silence is exactly what the doctor ordered.

 

{The Nest Writes} Why it’s okay to have a favourite child

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Parental guilt is an absolute bitch. It doesn’t matter what you do, nobody gives a shit. You will be made to feel guilty from the moment you push that little sucker out your front bum or from the moment they cut you to pull them out. You will feel guilty if you adopt, you will feel guilty if you had a surrogate. Parental guilt is overwhelming and a real pain in the life.

So here’s a hot tip on one less thing to feel guilty about. I’m going to scream this loud and proud – It is COMPLETELY acceptable to have a favourite child.

I say this because I have three children and at various times they are all my favourite.

My oldest is my favourite. She is wonderful and kind. She is also the one I like taking shopping. She is patient and thoroughly enjoys  the shopping experience. She loves clothes and shoes. She is pleasant and friendly to shop assistants and loves to give her ‘expert’ opinion on whichever outfit I try on. She will happily sit in the car for three hours while we travel to Sydney just to get a bargain at the end of financial year sales. She is my favourite child for shopping with.

The middle born is my favourite. Whenever I go somewhere new I want her by my side. She is approachable and outgoing. She is the first to introduce herself and break the ice. Nothing is too hard and she will dive in head first. At a party she will remember to say thank you and move around the room sidling up to everyone from the baby to the grandpa just to say g’day.  During her first swimming lesson she didn’t hesitate and I didn’t have to negotiate with her to climb into the pool, she just jumped and I only just managed to peel her shoes off her feet before she bounded in. She is my favourite child in new situations.audrey2111162logo

The youngest is my favourite. She is the most charming of all my children and loves to help out. Whenever I cook she plonks herself on the bench (hello parental guilt alert because she will probably fall off) and enjoys passing ingredients and mixing our concoctions in the kitchen. She will spend hours helping me roll dough for school lunch scrolls, she will gently pour milk into the mixing bowl when we make custard or help peel carrots. She loves nothing more than helping me pack and unload the dishwasher and carrying laundry out to the line. She is my favourite helper.

My oldest is my favourite. She is caring. She will bound out of bed on a Sunday morning and look after the younger two by preparing their breakfast and turning on the television so mummy and daddy can have a sleep in.

My middle child is my favourite because she takes pleasure in feeding the dogs everyday and that means I don’t have to.

My youngest is my favourite because she doesn’t rip tissues anymore.

My oldest is my favourite because she loves going to cafes.anni2logo-copy

My middle child is my favourite because she eats just about everything and isn’t fussy.

My youngest is my favourite because she sings twinkle twinkle little star with more gusto than Pavarotti.

See, you don’t need to feel guilty about having a favourite child because they aren’t your favourite ALL of the time.

Think of it this way, you have a circle of friends and you enjoy doing certain things with specific friends. Like I have one friend who I love a coffee and a gossip with, another who I could call night or day for any reason, another for drunken nights  and another for parenting chats.

You shouldn’t feel guilty for realising that each one of your children are your favourite for different reasons. The moment you realise that, is the exact time that you will feel a little less parental guilt burden. Guaranteed.

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{The Nest Writes} They should have known better: victim blaming.

“WARNING: Don’t leave your “For Sale” vehicles parked on Hereford Street overnight. Around 1am last night a Ford Festiva was set alight and totally destroyed.”

That innocuous Facebook status update from my local Police was the final straw for me.

We, as a community need to stop making excuses for criminal behaviour and for those who commit it.

Why are we now a society that dictates to victims how to behave rather than regulating those who break the law? How about instead of a warning not to park your cars on a public street overnight, we put out a warning advising criminals that the penalties will be stricter when the Police catch you.

Last week social media tycoon Kim Kardashian-West was robbed, while asleep, in her hotel room. It was the middle of the night and she was in her luxury apartment while her friends stayed out partying. Kim was bound, threatened and genuinely feared for her life. These men wielded guns and there are reports that one held a pistol against her temple while the others ransacked her room and stole her personal belongings. What an incredible invasion of personal space and safety. Every single details about the incident is disturbing, this is a woman who was ambushed in her bed. I understand that there is a certain level of mockery that exists whenever the Kardashian name is mentioned but at what point did we take away the basic right to feel safe in your apartment? Continue reading

{The Nest Christmas} THINK just a little differently about Christmas this year

It’s Christmas time again. You’re running around the shops like it’s the final mile in a marathon, trying to throw in the trolley something for your mother in law’s boyfriend that you hope you didn’t buy him last year. The Christmas carols sound like the high-pressure music they play at the end of a gameshow, and if one more pensioner bumps into you while reaching for the cold meat, you won’t be held responsible for your actions. This is everyone’s experience at this pointy end of the year.gift

It’s funny that the culmination of a years worth of work, ends with a frenzy of shopping, purchasing and more hard work.

This year, I would like to put forward an idea for something a little bit different. I know you still have to purchase presents for those important loved ones, you still have to provide a meal for all of your visitors on the big day, but this year I want us to do something different – I want us to THINK.

Be aware, be present, be mindful and be thankful.friends

This is not a preachy kind of post, it is a chance to be aware of how much we have and ask ourselves, how much do we really need? This Christmas, THINK about what your family truly needs when you are gift giving. Are you just buying an extra present because there doesn’t look enough under the tree? Are you just buying them something because you feel you have to? We have all received gifts at some point that we say thank you for, but know they will be hidden in a cupboard for years. This year, don’t buy a gift card just to give someone money because you can’t think of a gift.

Your relationship is the gift!

Hold them close, tell them how much they mean to you and what you’ve loved about the year you’ve experienced together. Make some time to sit with your family without using your phone. Make a connection with them and enjoy the way that just been together feels. Play board games or just take a walk around your neighbourhood. Visit your neighbours and spread goodwill in the community. There are so many people around the world with so little, please be mindful when you purchase groceries. A big meal on Christmas is a great tradition and one that is enjoyed by all, but should there be so much leftover and thrown out over the coming days? All I ask is that you THINK when purchasing your food and not waste food you don’t need. We are all being advertised to in such a way that over indulgence has become indicative of the season, and saying no to anything seems almost impossible. I can guarantee a day with your family sitting around, really connecting, without the demands of phones and social media would mean much more then a day of excess food and gifts. If you have an opportunity to donate, do so. No matter how big or small your donations are, it’s a way of recognising how lucky we are and that we have enough. There are so many charities out there that cater for all sorts of needs in the global community. If you have children, suggest they purchase a small gift for another child their age who will not be so lucky this Christmas. There are so many places in Our area that will hand out these gifts on your behalf to needy families. Go global. THINK about the world we live in, not just our small part of it. You can purchase a prosthetic leg for a landmine victim in Cambodia or purchase a goat, a pig or a chicken for a small family in Africa. Provide clean drinking water to people who desperately need it, donate to the conservation of your favourite animal, or, if your family has unfortunately been affected by an illness this year, donate to the corresponding charity to help find a cure. I want you to enjoy your Christmas. I want you to have the meals and the gifts that your family deserve.family

All this post is trying to do is make you THINK. We are all global citizens and there is so much going on in this world right now that affects us all.

Christmas is an amazing time to celebrate our love for one another. This year let’s just engage our brains before we go down the road of over indulgence and wastefulness. You don’t need to slave all day in the kitchen to provide a massive meal for your family, ease up on what you purchase and remember that presence is way more important than presents.

Happy Holidays.

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