{Same Sex Plebiscite} Why you should vote yes

So not sure why you should vote yes on the plebiscite? I got the answer for you….

The main reason you should vote yes is, well because…

It doesn’t affect you.

It really won’t change your life at all.

I think that’s the bit that so many people are missing about this whole thing.

You can still go on living your conservative life. If you vote yes, your heterosexual life isn’t going to change. You will still be married. You will still be accountable to your partner. You will still be your partner’s beneficiary. Your marriage will be no less valid.

But here’s the thing, it won’t change your life at all, but it will change someone else’s life. So much more than you will ever know.

You are gifting someone a chance to have a family that is recognised by all. A family that is happening already. Love is love regardless of how you feel.

You don’t need to necessary support gay rights, but you should support human rights.

By ticking the box and posting back your vote you are giving someone out there the chance you feel validated. The chance to feel love. The ability to see their life no longer covered in discrimination but rather in equality.

So don’t waste your chance to change someone else’s life for the better. Shouldn’t everyone have the right to love?

It won’t affect you, but mate I guarantee your vote will affect others.

Image may contain: outdoor

#samesex
#Lgbt
#voteyes

{Love Birds} Top 10 Most Popular First Dance Songs

The struggle is real.

Real fun.

Planning a wedding is full of thousands of tiny little choices, and one of the those that will sink heavily into your memory is your First Dance Song.

Image: Danni Evans Photography

Image: Danni Evans Photography

Not every single couple has a song, so finding one to capture your love and hopefulness for the future can be tough. So the rocking people at Spotify have released their list of most popular first dance songs. With over 6.7 million wedding playlists available you should really check them out.

The Top 10 Most Popular First Dance Songs on Spotify:

1.     “Thinking Out Loud,” Ed Sheeran
2.     “At Last,” Etta James
3.     “You Are the Best Thing,” Ray LaMontagne
4.     “All of Me,” John Legend
5.     “A Thousand Years,” Christina Perri
6.     “Make You Feel My Love,” Adele
7.     “I Won’t Give Up,” Jason Mraz
8.     “Everything,” Michael Bublé
9.     “Better Together,” Jack Johnson
10.  “Amazed,” Lonestar

Happy wedding planning Nesters x

{This is life} Some stories on “why I cheated on my husband”..

When you stand in your white dress, in front of your family and friends everything seems perfect.

Your future is bright, your lives are planned. You are loved up.

So how come sometimes the til-death-do-us-part doesn’t always come true?

Marie Claire have compiled some stories on Why I Cheated On My Husbandchgeat

They are honest and sad.

Maybe reading one of these will remind you of someone you know or make you aware of something in your relationship that might need addressing sooner rather than later.

 

 

{This is Life} Why I chose to take my husband’s name

No two people are the same. I understand that.

Every single relationship is different.

I recently read this article, Why I Didn’t Take My Husband’s Last Name in Marie Claire and I found it really interesting.

It made me think, how much has the tradition of marriage changed and is it now common place for women to get married and not to take their husband’s name? weddingMy husband and I were married in Port Douglas on 7 July 2009 and it was wonderful. To be honest, short of the occasional shit-stirring expedition I never really considered not changing my name. My husband felt quite strongly about his desires for me to change my name. Having said that, I am sure he still would have married me if I chose not to, but it was his opinion that together in front of our family and friends we would be choosing one name for our own new little family.

I think in extension of that, we both knew we wanted to have children one day and while we wished them to have their own sense of identity we definitely wanted that unity of the same family surname to embrace them.

On the flip side, in my career it would have definitely been easier to keep my maiden name. This is because my father is well-known in the same industry that I work in and has made quite a ‘name’ for himself. Without a doubt the opportunity to grab onto those coat-tails was definitely enticing, but, what would that have shown my future daughters? I need to show them that you can make your own name (even if you have chosen to take someone elses!).

It is such a complex idea, so much of your identity is wrapped up in your name. It was who I had been known as for most of my life but here I was choosing to change my name for the love of another.

I guess it is a personal choice. I know that if one of my daughters does not want to change her name when/if she marries then that is entirely her choice and I will support her either way but for me it was something I wanted to do.

I know that having the same name as my husband does not make our relationship any better or stronger than those who choose to maintain their own name, but for me somehow it makes a difference.

So now, almost six years later I am still me but a little different version of me. I am a wife, a mother, a student, a writer, a procrastinator, an average cook, a reader, a clerk, a friend, a sister, a daughter. Not much of that relies on what my surname is. I am me.

Did you change your name?

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{The Nest Relationships} 20 Secrets of Couples Who Stay Together Forever

Everyone knows that marriage is hard work, not always shiny, not always perfect.

So, what you ask is the way to make a marriage or long-term relationship last?

Here is a compilation of 20 Secrets of Couples who Stay Together Forevercouple

I like this list. A. Lot.

Honestly, a bunch of it is common sense, you know basically don’t be a jerk but sometimes it is nice to be reminded of the little things that really can make the biggest difference.

Here are our two favourites:

Some fights are just fights. They don’t have to be deal breakers. You can be madly in love with a person and still be mad at that person. Fights don’t have to spell The End. Couples that stay together choose the relationship over the conflict.

Sometimes you have to say no to invitations so you can spend time with each other. Just because your calendar is blank one night doesn’t mean you have to agree to plans if someone asks. Life gets weirdly busy as you get older. It’s nice to use that free time to just be together.

What makes your relationship last?

Happy Love Nesters xo

{The Nest Relationships} 7 signs you might be in an unhappy marriage

Marriage can be tough. It’s an ongoing process that needs attention.

So what happens if you are in a bad marriage? Would you know the signs?

Did you know that research shows that people in bad marriages usually have low self-esteem, struggle with anxiety and depression, and have a higher rate of illness than those who don’t.

This article by Hannah Hickok indicates 7 Signs That You Might Be In An Unhappy Marriagecouple

It is certainly worth a read. Have you given up fighting just because it’s not worth it any more? Do you feel like you aren’t being heard? Sometimes the signs are there and you just need to be reminded of them.

Of course, it isn’t too late, but this article might help you realise there is a problem.

Happy health Nesters x

{The Nest Relationships} Are you up for a 10 day marriage challenge?

It is absolutely no surprise to anyone that marriage is hard. It can be tough (and frustrating) but also so rewarding and the most spectacular relationship of your life.

The team at The Vanilla Tulip have put together an interesting idea. The 10 day marriage challenge. Basically you and your spouse complete the challenge for 10 days and on the last day you have a date. Sounds simple enough?!

‘Marriage is hard.

Especially in the society that we live in.

Whether your marriage is at an all time low or at an all time high…

we need to be cultivating and pouring into our spouse.

We need to be strengthening and protecting our marriages.

 Which is where this 10 Day Marriage Challenge comes into play.

We would love if you and your spouse would join us the next 10 days!’ Vanilla Tulip

marriage

 While we are not sure whether this will work, we are interested in anything that assists communication in marriages.

Good luck Nesters – let us know how you go!

{Wack your smile on this} A 61 year wedding anniversary with a difference

If this doesn’t put a smile on your face you should go to the doctor. You know, because you are dead.

Style me pretty has published an ‘up’ theme photoshoot for a couple who have been married to each other for 61 years.

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What makes this story just a little bit more beautiful is the fact that their wedding photographer actually stood them up on their wedding day and these are their ‘love photos’ – just 61 years later.

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What an amazing achievement. What great inspiration. I hope to be married at least 61 years as well.

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Head over to Style me Pretty for more images and delight.

Love is marriage or marriage is love?

Recently I have noticed something. A new trend developing. Everyone is getting married. I remember a time when we all went to 18th and then 21st parties but now it seems marriages are the new birthday party. All the cool kids are doing it, and the uncool kids, and the in-betweeners, the hippies and the gold diggers. Everyone. That is of course, except those boys who love boys and the girls who love girls.marriage definition

 There seems to be a lot of uproar about allowing same-sex marriage to occur in Australia without much basis for saying no. You know except for the usual ‘what about the tradition of marriage?’. Even our local member of Parliament, Paul Toole recently said he was unable to support the same-sex legislation because he was ‘old-fashioned’. Surely local members are supposed to support and represent the community’s changing values and views?

As a happy married woman I understand the joy in getting married but the question I find myself asking is whether the feel of marriages in Australia is changing to something that is not quite for ‘ever after’ but rather ‘for now and a bit?

According to the English Oxford Dictionary marriage is: ‘the formal union of a man and a woman, to the exclusion of all others, typically as recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife’. So is that what we need to protect?

Are we protecting the formal union? Are we protecting the idea of monogamy? Or is it just protecting the union of only a man and a woman?

I fail to see the nexus between introducing same-sex marriage and the impact it will have on the traditional marriage. Surely John and Jane’s marriage will still be as sentimental and just as legal? Surely same-sex marriage won’t impact on the validity and value of traditional marriage but only allow more people to participate in marriage, without discrimination.

If anything it is the average man and woman who are destroying the traditional value of marriage themselves. Many couples these days don’t commit for eternity, but rather ‘for as long as our love shall last’. It seems to me that it is the Janes and Johns of the world who are changing the institution of marriage.

According to an article published in the Washington Post by Counsellor Janis Abrahams-Spring, infidelity effects on average 1 in every 2.7 couples. This definitely has to undermine the value of the traditional marriage where you are supposedly signing up for ‘the exclusion of all others’.

Perhaps the existence of pre-nuptial agreements are breaking down the strength of traditional marriage. Is this contractual agreement just a way of preparing yourself for an easy-out clause because we probably won’t work out anyway?

Photo source: The Hoopla
Photo source: The Hoopla

Or are we just getting married to have a big party with our family and friends? According to Bride to Be magazine the average 2010 wedding in Australia cost $29,966.00 for the actual day. Plus, you should add another $7,194.00 for engagement rings and wedding bands and $7,105.00 for the honeymoon. Then throw some more coin in the amount of $4,031.00 for pre-wedding parties and it adds up to a grand total of $48,296.00.

The question I put to you is, ‘should it cost almost $50,000.00 to say “I do”?’ Surely that is setting newlyweds up for richer or for poorer, sooner rather than later.

It could be said that laying out so much money is taking the emphasis off the ‘love you until the end of time’ but mixing in a cup of ‘The dress better be Vera Wang’ with a dash of ‘canapés and cocktails on arrival’ following by ‘I can’t believe John Paul Young will be singing at our reception’.

Then following this, the Australia Bureau of Statistics says that a third of marriages end in divorce. So basically we drop $50,000.00 for a 1 in 3 chance at success.

I find it so intriguing and infuriating that we can kick up a stink because two boys who have been in a committed relationship for years want to formalise their union and get married but we don’t care if the institution of marriage itself is covered with a bucket full of contradiction-filled-confetti by those allowed to actually participate.

Surely the traditional marriage that everyone seems so intent on defending wouldn’t deny two lovers the chance to celebrate their legal union together in front of their family and friends, to show their neighbours, their community, their government that they have chosen each other for life (or ‘for as long as their love shall last’).love is love

Perhaps it is the married people in Australia that are changing the tradition of marriage with their big parties, lower commitment rates and divorces. Surely it is only fair that same-sex couples get a chance to drop $50,000.00 for a party and a 1 in 3 chance of happily ever after?

10 things to be learnt from 10 years of marriage

Source: IVillage

Source: IVillage

Sasha Emmons is a mum of two, a writer and an editor. She has also put together this insightful and clever article ‘’10 things I’ve learned about love after 10 years of marriage’.

Marriage is not always smooth sailing but if you can remember a couple of these points it could make for a long-lasting happy life together.

So grab a cup of tea, a quiet space (if you can!) and read this wonderful article.