Talking about my experience with post-natal depression and anxiety is difficult but if I don’t and someone else is feeling this way and thinks it is normal that is not okay. After my third daughter was born I lost myself for a while and it was genuinely the most scary time of my life. 
The alarm sounds and I wake from a broken sleep. I don’t even know what time I eventually got to sleep, plus the baby woke four times.
An ache controls my entire body. Continue reading
There is an incredibly horrific pandemic that is taking hold of Australians. It affects the old, the young, the men, the women and the children.
It doesn’t discriminate. It affects the wealthy, the poor, the average. It takes the powerful, the weak and the popular.
It is rising. It is permanent and as a nation we need to stand side by side to find out how we can significantly lower the rates of suicide in Australia.
Let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time there was a 27 year old man. He ran his own successful business, had parents who adored him, a girlfriend who loved him and a best mate who found him hanging from a noose in his shed.
There was a little girl with dark hair and chocolate skin. She was 10 years old and after experiencing an overwhelming sense of hopelessness made the choice to end her life and sever any chance of future happiness.
A 32 year old mother of three takes her own life just four months after her littlest baby is born. Leaving a heartbroken husband and three young girls without a mother.
A brave, courageous 37 year old man recently returned home from active duty defending his country and due to the torment he continued to live with every day took his life with a single bullet.
The suicide rate in Australia is appalling and according to the Australia Bureau of Statistics there has been a significant rise in death by suicide in young women. A rise which means we are sitting terrifyingly at a a 13 year high.
Let me break this down for you, Australia’s current suicide rate is sitting at around 12 per 100,000 people.
Our men that surround us, you know the burly, strong, masculine men are crumbling around us. Men make up three-quarters of people who commit suicide and this is the scariest part, suicide remains the main cause of death for young people in Australia.
Let me repeat that loud and clear.
It isn’t car crashes or drugs. It’s not coward punches or risky behaviour. Nor is it anything else you see splashed across the nightly news. It is a conscious decision to end their own life. A decision to save themselves from the anguish of a self-formed reality of hopelessness that they live in. This is incredibly heartbreaking.
So what can we do? We need to identify why these people are feeling so hopeless. We need to not let anymore beautiful young people slip through the net.
Black Dog Institute director and chief scientist Helen Christensen said a new approach was needed to drive down suicide rates “if we want to be really serious about saving lives, we need to understand why people become suicidal and identify how we can best tackle these issues before they reach crisis point, if we look to the research evidence from here and overseas, there are clear strategies that have been proven to reduce suicide risk. Only some of these are currently in use in Australia, and implementation tends to be scattered and disproportionate to their impact.”
So what are these strategies?
We need to acknowledge, spread and share the word that suicide is everyone’s business. Every single one of us has an obligation to speak more openly about depression, hopelessness and sadness. We need to look around us and stare deeply into those around us to see even the most minute cries for help. So I want you to turn up, call and simply ask the question “Are you okay?”.
You need to listen to those around you. Like really, deeply listen. Actively.
Be proactive, don’t just say “call me if you need anything” that is way too vague. You call them. 
We need to escalate the pressure placed on our government to increase early intervention through our medical teams. This includes increasing support for our troops who return home from combat.
We need more money to research the groups of the population who are more at risk. Why do people feel so helpless? It must be because there is not enough help available.
Just raise awareness. Ask the questions. Be there.
Even if today is a tough day, your past shows you have a 100% survival rate.
If you or someone you know needs help, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit its website.
One very clever person has finally been able to put into cartoon drawings what people have been trying to say for years.
This is quite possibly the easiest way to describe anxiety to people who don’t understand it (or like myself have never experienced it so struggle to fully understand what it must feel like).
Tumblr user Sophie Wright posted the following images on her blog, Snapdraws, to provide others with a glimpse into life with anxiety.
You can see more here -> Snapdraws – Anxiety Cartoons
You can get help at Beyond Blue or Lifeline.
This week is Post Natal Awareness week and it is important that you, I, everyone support this.
I look at her now and can’t even imagine the feelings I once had
Post Natal Depression affects everyone. It is not discriminatory. It doesn’t care if you are rich or poor. Black or white. Young or older. It doesn’t care. It affects about 1 in every 7 new mothers (and those results are based on people who actually seek help).
I have never really spoken about my post natal experience. Whilst I was never diagnosed with Post Natal Depression I felt panicked. I felt isolated and lost.
I remember feeling extremely guilty because I was unable to soothe my new child. I wondered if she knew I felt like I didn’t love her enough. Is that why she screamed?
Did she know I was lost? That I felt all alone?
I often asked myself if I loved her enough. Shamefully about three weeks in, wondered if I would miss her if someone else took her home.
This led me to feel more guilt. I felt inadequate and hopeless.
I had grown this little child in my body for over nine months. Before I met her I was excited. I envisioned hours of long cuddles and midnight breastfeeds. I would supplement her with my milk, as I believed nature intended. The truth is, I was unable to nourish her alone. My baby could not solely rely on me to provide for her. I felt worthless.
I felt guilty each time I used formula. I felt sad each time I used the bottle steriliser. I cried often as I tried to offer my breast but she refused me.
I was dark and alone. She cried. I cried.
I felt like my guilt was surrounding me, almost, some days drowning me.
I had also been diagnosed with Bells Palsy weeks before having my baby and felt ugly and different. My face still hadn’t returned to normal. I still had pains in my dreams. I felt low and sad.
On top of this, I felt like I wasn’t doing a good enough job. Like deep down my daughter expected more. I was constantly exhausted, not only with the battle of looking after my newborn but with the battle I was fighting each day in my head.
My turning point was a Tuesday. I had spent the day listening to my child wail from her perfect bassinet in her perfect nursery. After lunch I called my husband and told him to come home. I needed him to close his workshop for the day and come home and save me.
I needed to be saved from this screaming child. I needed to be saved from the heavy expectations of being a new mother. I needed him, above all else, to save me from myself.
He came home and held me. I let him cradle me like a baby. I finally realised I needed to let go. Let go of my expectations. Release my guilt. Free myself.
Then one day, when she was not very old. The clouds above me parted. I looked at her with love. I felt immediately attached to her, like I needed her more than my desire to breathe. I realised that she was mine forever and that was not conditional upon me being perfect. She was me and I was her, a part of our souls intertwined forever.
I have an amazingly supportive husband and great family and friend network. I think that saved me. I think they saved me from myself.
I can look back now and see that dark period as a time of great character building for myself. I tell myself that without experiencing all those emotions I may not have realised how much I am actually capable of. It allowed me to realise that I need not be so hard upon myself but rather enjoy the time without necessarily aiming for perfection.
It is so important that you speak up. If you are a new parent and experiencing any of the following symptoms (for two weeks or more) please ask for help.
Take the time to drop in on new parents. Ask if they are okay. Let us support each other, for every person is fighting a battle you may know nothing of.
Please seek help – You can get through this:
Beyond Blue – http://justspeakup.beyondblue.org.au/
Panda – http://www.panda.org.au/
It can affect anyone. It doesn’t discriminate. Teachers. Doctors. Cleaners. Judges. It doesn’t care.
Image: Alexandra Thompson/Shutterstock
It can eat you up. It sleeps with you. It follows you.
It affects everyone around you.
3 Million Australians are living with depression and anxiety.
THREE MILLION! I say that again because it is 3,000,000 Mums. Sons. Fathers. Friends.
According to Beyond Blue, on average, 1 in 6 people – 1 in 5 women and 1 in 8 men – will experience depression at some stage of their lives.
Literally Darling has published one of the most insightful pieces I have read. It tells what it is like watching someone close to you live under the cloud of depression.
Here is the link -> ‘Loving someone with depression’ Please read it. Please take the time.
Image: Pinterest
What makes it worse is that people living in rural areas have an increased risk of developing mental illness. The Central West is rural. Our nests are rural. Your loved ones are rural.
If you, or someone close to you need help please contact your local GP or Beyond Blue. Don’t hide in the shadows. Ask for help. Seek assistance.
the central nest 