My oldest child started big school this year and while she is loving it and fitting in well, no one told me just how much I would miss her.
I think I spent so much time getting ready for the big milestone, buying uniforms, arranging a lunch box and preparing for the first day that I didn’t really stop to think about what my new life without her by my side would be like.
I miss our lunches together. I miss the endless questions. I miss the random declarations of love. I miss chasing the dog and going to the park. I miss taking her to the pool or grabbing a milkshake. I miss the freedom to do a day trip.
What I have realised is that now she belongs to someone else. Between 9 and 3 every day she has to be with someone else and that is really strange.
For five years we spent each and every day exploring the world together. Some days were great adventures, other days were nothing more than snuggles on the couch and cartoons, but they were often the best days.
I know its not just me, her sister misses her madly. She has not known a world without her sister in it every day. She is lost and bored trying to learn how to entertain herself.
I miss hearing her ‘play’ voice, her bossy voice, her laugh.
I have to be honest, I also miss the extra set of hands to help with the baby.
I miss baking together, visiting daddy at work or drawing. I miss our long walks, our trampoline battles and random dance-offs.
Each afternoon she comes home filled with information and stories about what she has learnt that day and what new adventures she has completed. Without me. She is out exploring this big world without her mummy.
I just wish I had known how much I would miss her.
So while I say go forth my little girl into the world for all to see, just remember mummy will always be here at home waiting for you.