My darling child,
I wasn’t a very good mum today.
I sit here listening to you sleep, realising that I have failed you today.
I failed the most important person in my life.
I had too many errands to run, too many other jobs.
The day started abruptly as you didn’t sleep very well. I rolled exhausted and reluctantly from bed.
All day I provided for you. You were fed and bathed. You were clean and full. You were kept from danger.
But, I still let you down.
Today, I hurried away our time together. I rushed through it all.
I hassled you past the friendly old lady with the fluffy, white puppy.
I insisted you rush your lunch.
I thundered at you to stop playing in puddles.
I was terribly impatient and collected the mail myself, even though I know you do it every other day.
I was short tempted and cranky.
I wasted today.
I am sorry I didn’t smile at you enough.
I wish I could have today again. I really, truly do.
I promise I would not rush our routine of applying talcum powder on your freshly cleaned body. I would instead absorb your giggle as I dried between your tiny toes.
I would let you pat the beautiful puppy without hurrying you along.
I would sing twinkle, twinkle just one more time.
I would start today over, and do it all again.
I will never have this day again and I am sorry. Sorry I rushed you. Sorry I hurried you. Sorry I wasted this one special day of your life.
My darling, I can only offer lousy excuses, and the promise that tomorrow will be better, as it is a whole new day.
With eternal love and affection,
Your mummy x